It's Not About Me

I have been exceedingly blessed by my new full time job with New Tech Global (NTG) Environmental. Not only am I provided 5 paid work days to volunteer for a non-profit organization that will cover the majority of my time spent for the mission trip, but I was accepted into their donation matching program as well. Any NTG employee who donates to my mission trip this summer will have their donation matched by the company's president. Already I have reached 43% of my trip's expenses, and half of that projection is thanks to NTG's generosity. Yesterday, I was able to give a talk to my work family describing Springtime House in Romania's history, needs, and goals. Luckily, I was able to use left over posters and bio cards of the kids from the past Fall Fundraiser to share. The office has been buzzing about it since, and many have expressed interest in further info and spreading awareness.

I know full well that I am a strange personality. I have a "Type A", self motivated attitude when it comes to completing projects, always desiring to go above and beyond no matter how simple the task is. That's not jut a quote from a line in a typical college entrance exam essay, it is really true. However, I highly dislike the lingering attention. The best way I could describe it is like fantastically putting on a one-act play on stage, and then after the curtain falls, fading into the darkness of the backstage, quickly getting to my car, and driving home to hide away for a few days, hoping to not be confronted on the streets with any public congratulations. I would rather read the reviews the next day in the paper. I love to perform, at anything, but I hate the attention. It's ambivalence at it's best.

I mention this piece of myself because I don't want to seem superficial at all. I never want to be superficial about anything. Reality and truth are characteristics of life that I simply want to emulate, seasoned with my hope and faith in a humble spirit. The truth of the matter is, all my work, with Springtime House, NTGE, or any other projects I take on, I know they are not about me. So many other people and events depend on my part to complete them, but I alone could not make great things happen. In the same vein of this declaration of anti-superficial reality is that with the attention I received after my Springtime House talk at NTGE, I can't just fade away from it, or else people will not be encouraged to spread further awareness about Romanian orphanages and the real struggle of hopelessness and abandonment that they are faced with every day.These same struggles that they will have to battle with even when they are chosen by a family who wishes to care for them. If I open up the issues to my friends and quickly close up in fear of too much attention for it, I am practicing my pride and not my humility, and I deny supporters for these Romanian families I claim to love.

So while I openly admit that I don't enjoy public praise for anything I do, it isn't about what I enjoy anyways. Because like I said, it isn't about me. I don't want anyone thinking I am an incredible person for going on these mission trips or working with Springtime House. I have to actively fight my pride to not deny a well-intentioned co-worker or friend their genuine support or praise for the cause God has placed me into. Because it isn't about me; it's all about Him.